Owen and Amelia: a one-shot collection
by June.Louise
Summary: A collection of moments shared between Owen and Amelia because they don't get enough room on the show.
1. Chapter 1

**This will be my place for written moments between Owen and Amelia, a collection of one shots which will vary in length. I already have a few ideas, but feel free to come with suggestions or prompts! This will be my first story where I write Owen/Amelia and GA. Hope you'll enjoy!**

 **I own nothing.**

Moment 1: Beautiful healthy babies

He saw her walk with decisive steps toward the on call room, her brown curls loose down her shoulders, bouncing by the fast move of her small body. They probably did need to rest after the day they'd had, but he couldn't let this go on any longer. Something was bothering Amelia and he was going to find out what it was.

Just as she was about to close the door behind her, Owen quickly slipped inside, turning the lock before facing her. Her face was clean from make up, and she looked tired and…something else. That something else she had had on her face for a few days now. "Owen-", she started a bit surprised by his presence.

"Amelia," Owen quietly answered while coming closer, raising one of his hands to cup her face while his other hand tucked some hair behind her ear.

Amelia sighed, enjoying his closeness and the calm it brought her. "That was a long surgery," she concluded. "I'm exhausted."

Owen didn't say anything, but tried to capture her beautiful eyes with his. She had been doing this for the past few days, let work take up all her time, all of their time. "Amelia, look at me," Owen said knowing that this was the only way, to push her into talking to him. He'd tried waiting for her to come around but it apparently wasn't happening. "Look at me, and tell me what's wrong."

He was gazing down at her in that way of his, and she knew that if she let their eyes meet for long enough he would be able to look into her soul. Owen did things like that with her, he made it impossible for her to hide. "I'm fine, Owen. I'm just tired," she tried to explain. Raising her own hands, she stood up on her toes and leaned in for a kiss, something that she knew worked excellent for a distraction. With her soft thumb stroking his cheek and her other hand holding on to his broad shoulder she gently captured his lips with hers. This was working, he was responding, and before either of them knew it they were falling down on one of the beds. She couldn't remember anything, think of anything, except his warm lips and how good they felt. And then he stopped.

"Amelia," he said a bit out of breath, staring down onto her flushed face. "We can do this later, but right now we have to talk. Actually talk." He gave her his stern look, and it usually would have made her smile and crack a joke to break the seriousness of the moment. Only now she couldn't.

"I don't want to talk. I want to make out." She reached for him again, grasping his shirt with her hands to bring him to her again. Though he wouldn't budge. "Owen," she started, immediately feeing vulnerable again under his gaze.

"Something's up with you. You think you can hide it from me, but you can't. You can't, Amelia, because I see you. I know you, and you don't have to hide from me." His strong and masculine hands cupped her face where it rested on the pillow, his eyes searching hers and he was hoping she could feel what his eyes were trying to show. Since she didn't say anything but had her blue eyes locked onto his, he continued. "I care about you. So much. You know that," he smiled, seeming almost a bit embarrassed to bare his feelings. "Please, Amelia, let me in," he tried again.

Amelia took a deep, shaky breath and finally spoke. "I thought I was pregnant," she confessed. There, now she'd said it. She could see the relief in Owen's face and immediately felt bad, because she didn't want him to worry. She didn't want him to feel any feelings like that at all. Her hands found their way back up to his arms, stroking them up and down, hoping to bring him some reassurance. "I'm not though. I'm not pregnant."

"Oh. Okay." She could see that he was a bit confused, and unsure of what to say because the skin between his eyes created a slight frown. So she continued, because Owen had that effect on her. He made her talk. He made her go on and on about things, sometimes become a rambling mess with no way to stop.

"I, I want babies. I really do, Owen. I want babies with you."

Owen found himself freeze for a few moments, his thumbs stopping their massage on Amelia's temples and his thoughts flying miles away. Was he shocked? Stunned? He had wanted kids for such a long time, that someone actually saying those words aloud to him-

"I mean, maybe not now." Amelia's voice brought him back and his eyes found hers again as she rambled on. "'Cos you know, we're new and we haven't really talked about it. But you'd make a great dad, Owen. Someday. You really would." Her lips formed a slight smile and she gazed up at him with such warmth it gave him goose bumps. He kept staring down at her, continuing his massage of her temples while he let her words sink in. This beautiful, smart and amazing woman wanted kids with him.

When he saw her eyes begin to water, he swore quietly at himself. He had zoned off again. "I want them, too," he blurted out a bit too loud, in a hurry to reassure her that that was what he wanted, too. "I want kids, too." This was just catching him a bit off guard. "With you," he finished and gave her a slightly too goofy smile and he saw how her whole body relaxed.

"Yeah?" Her voice was a slight whisper and she closed her eyes for a second, only to have a few tears slip down the smooth skin of her face.

No matter how much it hurt him to see her sad, this was the Amelia he loved. He loved to see the real Amelia, behind the façade she put up for the world. He loved it when she would share her most private inner thoughts with him.

"Yes, I do," he said, tying to reassure her. Was it because she was afraid he wouldn't want her to be pregnant that she'd been upset the past few days? Or was it something else? He so desperately wanted to understand her, wanted to know where her thoughts were, wanted to fix whatever it was to make her hurt. Because the days where Amelia Shepherd hid, pushed back and ran from her feelings were over. They were living though with the pain, together. "And you know, just because you're not pregnant now doesn't mean-," he continued but was interrupted.

"No. Owen, it's not," she began with a shaky voice, inhaling deep to keep her voice from breaking further. "My baby died," she finally whispered, her lips trembling. Closing her eyes, a few more tears escaped.

Owen kept stroking her hair, brushing a few tears away with his hand. "I know."

"And it was my fault," she cried, turning her face into Owen's hand.

"Amelia, no. It wasn't. These things happen. We see them every day. Sometimes they just happen." Owen had known about her baby, had known that he had only lived for 43 minutes. He hadn't known how deep her pain still was though, even though he wasn't surprised. Amelia was good at so many things, but dealing with her emotions was not one of them.

Amelia released a sob and clung to his arms, breaking even more. "I was using. I didn't take care of myself. I didn't take care of my baby. And he died."

Owen was suddenly angry, angry that no one had been there for her. Angry that she still had to feel like this. Angry at himself for not knowing, noticing her pain. "You're sober now. You-"

"I'm so afraid. Owen. I was an addict, and I made a unicorn baby. What if I only make unicorn babies?" Her last words were no more than a whisper, and mixed with her crying it was hard to understand. Owen did the only thing he could though and pulled her close to him, cradling her trembling body to his. He had no idea why she called it a unicorn baby, but he did know her baby had been encephalic.

"You won't, Melia. You won't." He kissed her hair, holding her as close to him as he possibly could. "I promise you, we will have beautiful, healthy babies."

Her tears wetted his neck and shirt, and she clung to him with all of her limbs. "You can't know that," she cried. "I'm scarred, and wounded and messed up. I might not be able to give you healthy babies."

A few tears fell from Owen's eyes into the softness of her dark hair. While closing his eyes he could see them, he could see their babies. They would have more than one and they would be beautiful healthy babies. "Shh, Melia. You're perfect. You'll do perfect. We'll do perfect. I promise."

And even though she knew that he couldn't possibly promise her that, she believed him.

 **I'd love for you to click the button below and let me know your thoughts!**


	2. Chapter 2

One Friday Night

They walk up the porch steps in silence, Owen fallowing Amelia to the door for no other reason than to have a few more minutes together. Yet again Amelia had been abandoned at the hospital, this time by Maggie who had driven them to work this morning and at the end of the day were nowhere to be seen.

While stopping just outside the front door, Amelia intertwined her fingers with his, feeling him squeeze her hand back in response. How was it that they still could be like shy teenagers around each other, Amelia did not know. They had already been through so much together.

"Owen, I-," she hesitantly started, clearing her throat. "Thanks for the ride," she finished, her lips forming a smile. Her hand that was not burning from Owen's touch pulled some hair behind her ear. Could he sense her nervousness? She carefully looked up, meeting his gaze. He was already looking at her with his kind eyes, looking through her.

The front door burst open, breaking the tension in the air, Meredith's slender figure appearing. "Oh, thank God you're home, Amelia! I was paged 911. It's my patient, she needs immediate surgery. And the kids- They were supposed to be with Arizona but then Sophia got sick and Maggie, I don't know where Maggie is. Do you know where Maggie is?" Meredith took a deep breath, trying to calm herself enough to focus on the situation. "Can you-", she started but was interrupted by the brunette.

"It's fine. Go. I'll keep the fort intact." By now, having lived with the single mother and the three kids, and actually even before that while her brother was still alive, she was used to stepping in to watch the kids. And it was not something that bothered her too much; she loved her nieces and nephew and understood the complicated schedule of being a surgeon.

Meredith relaxed her whole body, hesitating slightly before wrapping her arms around her sister in law. "Thank you, Amelia. You're officially the best aunt ever. Well, you've always been. Thank you." She quickly pecked the brunette on her cheek before pulling away.

Amelia blinked a few times as Meredith retreated back into the house, giving Owen a quick wave in her rush. Meredith was not exactly known for her kind words, and Amelia was especially not used to hearing them. It felt surprisingly big. Ever since Derek's death the two had had a complicated relationship, even more so lately because of the whole Penny situation. Derek would have been proud of the two now, if he could see them from wherever he was.

"So, I guess I know what I'll be doing tonight," Amelia stated with a laugh, turning back to Owen. She had that playfulness in her eyes that made her eyes sparkle with a thousand different shades of blue, one of the many things he had noticed and that made him fall deeper and deeper for her.

He chuckled, not missing how touched Amelia was by Meredith's words. He knew how much Amelia secretly craved for Meredith's approval. After Derek's death, Meredith and the kids were her only family here. "Hey, do you need help? I mean, I could stay," Owen suggested, trying to be casual about it while deep down desperately wanting to stay in her company for the night.

"Oh you don't have to-", Amelia began, chewing on her inner cheek.

"I want to." Owen's voice was strong, reassuring and he grabbed hold of her hand again.

Amelia swallowed, the corners of her lips turning up. She never wanted him to leave. "Okay."

"Okay." Owen returned her smile, silently cursing himself for probably looking too much like a smiling idiot.

Inside Zola and Bailey were sitting on the stairs, listening to their mother's instructions for the night. Bailey was shifting his gaze from his mother and sister, having a hard time comprehending the change of the situation but trusting his sister to understand. "-and you'll listen to your Aunt Amelia and be good kids. I love you and I'll be here tomorrow when you wake up."

Meredith kissed both children on their heads before turning her attention to the other adults in the house. "Okay, so Ellie's asleep in her room. Here's the baby monitor," she handed the device to Owen while continuing her speech. "There's no food prepared since Arizona was supposed to take care of that, but you can order something, right? Oh, and Zola needs to pee twice before bed, otherwise-"

Amelia stopped her ranting sister in law. "Mer, it's okay. We've got them. I live here too, remember?" Amelia smiled and patted the stressed out mother's shoulder. "Now, go. And don't worry. We'll be fine, better than fine."

"Yes, of course. Bye. I love you." She gave her kids one last smile before turning to the door, silently exchanging her gratefulness to Amelia before the door slammed shut behind her.

"Hello my little babies," Amelia cooed as the four of them were alone in the foyer, diving into cuddles with two laughing and happy children. Zola's arms immediately found their way around her aunt's neck while Bailey grabbed hold of her upper arm, giggling as his face was covered in kisses.

"We're not babies, Aunty Amy," Zola said while still laughing.

"No, you're not. You're so big these days, aren't you?" Amelia ruffled Bailey's blonde hair, looking up to find Owen smiling at the three of them on the stairs. "Listen, tonight we're very lucky because Owen is gonna stay with us. He's gonna help cook and play games and give you baths and read you stories." Amelia grinned at Owen who chuckled in return, knowing that he would be kept busy for many hours since Amelia did not do domestic if she could make him do it instead. Secretly, he was happy to do it for her.

"Yeah," Bailey yelled finally having noticed his favourite grown up. His little legs carried him into Owen's awaiting arms where he was swept up in a bear hug. Bailey loved his Uncle Owen and the two of them had grown a special bond. Bailey's liking of Owen probably had something to do with being surrounded by girls most of the time, but Owen wasn't complaining since he loved that little boy dearly.

Zola grinned, showing off her lost tooth. "Aunty Amy, can we bake cookies and play dress up?"

"Of course, Zozo. But first, we have to order dinner. What are you up for?"

"Pizza," Bailey yelled from Owen's arms.

Amelia stood up from the stairs, brushing some dust off her jeans and grabbed hold of Zola's awaiting hand. "Then pizza it is!"

"Uncle Owen, wanna see my cool truck," Bailey asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement and hope.

"Oh you have a cool truck. Of course I want to see it." Owen placed the boy on the floor and was led by the hand into the living room and the toys' area in the far corner.

Amelia smiled as the two boys went to do their thing, knowing that Bailey would keep Owen for himself for as long as he was allowed.

"Aunty Amy," Zola said in a sleepy voice where she laid all tucked in, her favourite soft animal wrapped under her arm. "I have a question."

Amelia lay next to the girl, the book they had been reading forgotten in her lap as the little girl had wanted to "chat" with her aunty instead. "Let's hear it then, Zozo," Amelia said, part intrigued to find out what was on her niece´s mind, part nervous that it was going to be about where babies came from.

Zola nuzzled her head into the pillow, grabbing hold of her aunt's hand and playing with the slender fingers. They were smaller than her mothers, but equally soft. "Is Uncle Owen your boyfriend?"

The question took Amelia a little by surprise, and she was silent for a few moments thinking about what to answer the girl. The word boyfriend sounded so strange, wrong. Boyfriend and girlfriend reminded her of two kids in high school and while she sometimes felt like a high school girl with Owen, the term boyfriend did not describe what he was to her. He was her boyfriend in a way, he really was. But he was also so much more. He was her lover. Her best friend.

"Can you keep a secret," Amelia finally said and turned her face to look at the girl next to her. Zola immediately turned so that she laid on her side, resting her face in her hands, her eyes sparkling. She nodded her head excitingly. "I can keep a secret, Aunty Amy."

"I'm in love with Uncle Owen." Zola was the first person she had told, except that time a long time ago on the patio with Derek. She had been quite sure then, that Owen Hunt was different from her previous relationships with men. Now though, now she was certain that it was love. She could feel it, feel it in her heart. The way her whole body filled with warmth whenever she thought of him, and the way his touch sent tingles through her skin. She really loved him.

The little girl smiled, looking into the woman's baby blue eyes that reminded her of her father. "In love like mommy and daddy?"

"Yes, like your mommy and daddy," Amelia whispered and raised her hand to caress Zola's soft cheek. The pain was still there, every time she thought of her brother and how he never got to see his kids grow up. And how her nieces and nephew never would be able to grow up with a father. She knew what that was like, having lost her father when she was about Zola's age. It was forever a scar, forever a piece of her that would be broken. The little girl inside her whom lost her beloved father could never quite heal, even though it grew easier through the years. She leaned in and placed a kiss on Zola's forehead, the girl's eyes drifting close from exhaustion of the day. "Remember, it's our secret for now," she whispered into the girl's ear before sitting up on the bed. "Sweet dreams, Zozo. I love you."

"Love you, Aunty Amy," Zola mumbled while drifting off to sleep, hugging her soft animal tighter. "And Uncle Owen, too." Amelia stroked the girl's hair softly one last time before turning the lights off and heading to the door. She wished her brother could be here and see what a sweet girl his daughter had become.

Heading down the corridor, she carefully opened the door to Bailey's room. The little boy was laying on his stomach snoring softly. Owen had worn him out. She smiled and realized that only the thought of him made her all mushy inside.

She found him in the living room, where he was rocking the youngest Shepherd to sleep. She stopped by the stairs, watching them. Owen was quietly humming something that reminded her of a lullaby, cradling Ellie in his arms, every now and then placing a kiss on top of the blonde curls. She could stare at them for hours. Maybe it was the blonde curls and the fact that she imagined how Owen's kids would have strawberry blonde hair, or the way he was rocking the baby as if he was created to do just that, but she could not help but imagine what it would be like. Be like if they were a family. She only let the thought linger for a moment though, pushing it back inside. It was too soon.

Owen blushed as he noticed her, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink and his eyes nervously looking down. He carefully placed Ellie down on the cushions of the couch, making sure that she was comfortable, safe and still sleeping before he turned back to Amelia.

"Hi," he mouthed and walked up to her. "She's finally down."

Amelia pulled some glitter from her hair, a reminder of the many hours playing dress up with Zola and Ellis. "Bailey as well I saw. You made his whole week tonight, he was so happy." Amelia said and then a silence fell around them, like the snow on a winter's night. Her hands found their way up to his arms, staying on his elbows rubbing the fabric of his shirt. Blue eyes nervously met equally blue ones. She could feel his hands in her hair, cradling her head, his lips finally reaching hers. Gently nibbling on her lower lip he asked for permission and she happily agreed by parting her lips. The kiss was intense and slow, gentle and still passionate. She could kiss him forever. He was not only an exceptionally good kisser, but it stirred something deep inside of her, gave her a feeling that made everything in the world right.

"I'm glad you stayed," Amelia smirked as they pulled apart, still staying in each other's arms. Owen gave the corner of her mouth a final peck before leading her to the couch. They fit so well together, Owen's strong and masculine arms around Amelia's petite form. She rested her head on his shoulder, drawing patterns on his shirt while he played with her silky brown curls. "Owen?" Her head shifted on his shoulder, her eyes trying to capture his. A quiet hum came from deep down his throat as his hand kept stroking her hair, his other hand stroking the knee that she rested on top of his thigh.

She felt brave when she kept her eyes locked onto his and spoke, urged on by his gentle gaze. "I want us to be together, like really together."

The hand in her hair stilled for a moment, probably a sign of his surprise by her words. Owen had wanted to officially be with her for a long time but had not wanted to push her, or do something to destroy the thing they had going on. He had just been happy to be with her, with or without a label. Now though, he could not stop the wide smile spreading on his face. "Like a couple, together," he teased.

"Like a couple, yeah." Amelia's voice was soft, warm and oh so sexy as she raised from her position by his side, pulling her legs on each side of him so that she straddled him. Her hands rested on his chest, moving up and down in slow movements as she leaned in closer to him with her face, still not breaking eye contact.

Owen swallowed, his hands travelling from her waist up her lean body to stay on her shoulders. "I kind of feel like we already are." A giggle escaped from her and she captured his lips yet again, his hands cupping her face.


	3. Chapter 3

I had to, like a lot of other writers, get this out after 12x08. Took me a while, but here's my version of the continuation from "Things We Lost in the Fire".

 **Just Okay**

Owen walked into the crowded bar for the third time that week. It had been a bad day, like every day since Riggs had returned into his life. He needed a drink.

As he made his way to the bartender he had to push through the heap of people. They were chatting and laughing and drinking, the bar being their escape from the life outside. Even though Owen would not be joining their laughter and dancing, it was oddly comforting knowing that he was not alone in wanting this escape from the outside world.

That's when he spotted him. _Riggs._ Of course, he always turned up where he was not wanted. Irritation filled his body and he figured that he would indeed need to spend the night alone where there were no people and no risk of triggers like this. Before Owen could turn back toward the door though, he noticed Riggs' drinking partner. _What?!_

He made his way over to them, not caring if he bumped into someone a bit too hard on his way. Just seeing Riggs' face made his fists ready to blow, but once his legs carried him closer all he could see was Amelia. She was leaning against the bar table on her elbows, her hair falling in thick waves around her face. She stirred the almost empty drink in front of her with a red straw, seeming to be far off in her mind.

" _Amelia_ ," he said quite loud to be heard over the loudness that was the bar. She stared right in front of her, the movement of her hand almost robotic as she stirred. He said her name again when she did not look up, coming even closer and gently placing a hand on her upper arm.

She looked different. She was _drunk_.

Feeling his heart crumble in his chest, Owen stilled her hand. He had to get her out from the bar, he had to take her away from everything inside the bar.

Riggs watched from the background as Owen led Amelia away by the hand. He had figured something was up with her and this only increased his curiosity. Owen had seen black at first and Riggs had prepared for another punch, but as soon as his brother-in-law had laid eyes on the brunette beside him, his whole demeanour had changed. His anger had turned to gentleness and worry.

"Amelia?" Owen's voice was filled with worry and question, his eyes wide. They were just outside the bar, and Owen was actually more worried that he had not put up a fight when he had led her away from the bar. She had simply followed him, her hand numb in his. He searched her eyes, trying to catch her gaze but she kept staring at the ground. "You had a drink." It was a statement, no judgement in his voice.

"I did," Amelia said just as simply back, giving him the first reaction of him being there. Owen knew that voice though. She was numb, hollow, and even though this was her way to cope he felt fear build up inside him. Where was the fight?

Carefully, Owen stepped closer, his hand nudging her fingers. It was cold, the wind feeling brutal against their skin. She looked so small and broken in front of him. But she was also the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Pain twisted his chest like a knife would, guilt consuming him. He should not have let this happen. Whatever had led to this, he should have stopped it. "I'm sorry I wasn't here. I'm so sorry, Amelia." There were no words to describe how sorry he was, for everything, for what he had or had not done for this to happen.

Amelia kept staring at the ground, quiet and still.

"I can't talk about it, not with anyone. But I shouldn't have pushed you away. I didn't say anything to Meredith." Owen rambled, desperate to explain but soon realizing that now was not the time to talk about this. To talk about himself. He could not be stupid enough to pretend to know what this was about. Amelia had relapsed, and he needed to do whatever he could to help her.

At the mention of Meredith's name, tears filled Amelia's eyes. As her vision became blurred, she blinked and released the wetness down her cheeks. She snatched her hand away from Owen, holding her arms close to her chest as if to protect herself. Owen could see the anger approaching, and while he did not like her anger at least it was something. At least he could see _Amelia_ in front of him. "You're not allowed to help. I don't need you. You don't deserve me needing you." Her voice was harsh, the words coming out in a combination of anger and hurt. She wiped at her cheeks, annoyed at the tears that kept coming against her will.

Owen sighed, acknowledging the fact that he was in fact a hypocrite. He had shut her out, refused her help and here he was forcing his help upon her. "I know. I don't." It was painful to not do what he desperately wanted, which was to take her into his arms, take her pain away. But he couldn't. "But that won't keep me from being here. I care too much to walk away." That was true. Even if he was a hypocrite and cursed himself for shutting her out when all she had wanted to do was be there, he cared too much to walk away now.

"You won't let me in, Owen. But every time I fall apart, that I _always_ seem to do, I'm supposed to come to you? It's not fair."

Owen remained silent, letting Amelia break down in front of him, slowly and painfully. "I hate that. I hate that I'm always the _weak_ one. I hate that I need people. But I do. Okay. Because otherwise _this_ happens!" When she isolated herself, when she tried to handle everything by herself, that was how she turned to drugs to take the pain away. Amelia continued, her words filled with bitterness. "Meredith kicked me out and basically told me she wants nothing to do with me. She hates me. Everyone ha-"

"Stop. That's not true." Owen interrupted her, because he could not listen to her speak about herself like that. It was physically painful.

"It is," Amelia whispered stubbornly looking him straight in the eye. It was almost like she was challenging him.

Owen's lips formed a thin line, his jaw tense as he met her stubborn stare. "I don't hate you. I never could," he responded truthfully and firmly.

Amelia opened her mouth as if to argue back at him, but soon closed her mouth again as if giving up. Her chin trembled and she swallowed hard. "I had a drink," she quietly said, her voice breaking as her eyes yet again spilling over.

They moved against each other in perfect synchronisation, her stumbling into his opening Devastation and emotional exhaustion made her clung to him and he pulled her as close as he could while she began to sob against his chest. He help her upright, pulling her as close as he could and holding her tight as she sobbed against his chest.

They stood there outside the bar, and as Owen felt the droplets of rain hit his face he loosened his grip of her. "Come," he gently said and pulled an arm around her, still holding her close and upright, walking them to his car.

Amelia sniffled every now and then as they drove, looking out the window as the rain escalated more and more. Owen rested his right hand on her thigh, cursing the weather for making him drive slower than normal. All he wanted was for them to get home so that he could hold her again.

He pulled the car in park outside his house, having automatically driven there figuring that Amelia would not mind. He went around the car and shielded them both with his jacket as they made their way inside. Amelia was a bit unsteady from the alcohol, but Owen kept a protective arm around her back.

He led her straight to the bedroom, thinking that what she needed right now was sleep. They could talk more in the morning. He knew that she had the day off and he was supposed to be "suspended" because his fight with Riggs. So they would have plenty of time, and she could sleep in.

Placing one of his army t-shirts next to her, he excused himself to go get her some water and left her to change. When he got back he placed the glass on the bedside table, along with some Advil. It was a good distraction from his own problems, to take care of someone else.

"I'm sorry." Amelia seemed to have sobered up a bit and was sitting on the bed. Her clothes were neatly folded on a chair and she had changed into his grey army shirt that she loved so much. One of her legs was bent and tucked under the other and she twisted her hands sin her lap. She always looked so perfect in his clothes. It always made him smile. How wearing nothing but a too-big-for-her shirt made her look so beautiful he did not know. It probably had something to do with her simply being beautiful and wearing _his_ clothes. Her blue eyes met his from where she sat on the bed, vulnerable and ashamed. "I should have been stronger than this."

Owen sat down beside her, taking her hand in his and linking their fingers together as he had done so many times. He placed their hands in his lap, gently stroking her delicate fingers. "You're the strongest person I know, Amelia. You will get through this. I promise." He looked her straight in the eyes, trying to show how much he meant what he said.

Amelia swallowed her emotions back down. "I let you down. I, I-"

"No," he raised her hand to his lips, kissing her porcelain skin. "I'm glad you're here," he said with a small smile.

"You are?"

"Of course. I always want you to come to me. We'll get through this together. This," he motioned between them as a symbol of the current situation, "and me and my…problems," he finished, desperately wanting her to believe him.

"Really?" Her eyes were a bit uncertain but as he nodded and she looked into his eyes reflecting so much emotion, her lips formed a smile. She sat up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, nuzzling into the safety and comfort that was Owen. He hugged her back, kissing the top of her head. "I'm glad I'm here, too," she whispered against his skin as she allowed herself to feel safe and protected in his embrace.

They laid down on the bed, somehow managing to get under the covers without letting go of each other. Owen quite awkwardly discarded his clothes while Amelia made herself comfortable snuggled against his side.

Owen had spent several nights at the hospital, getting very little sleep the past few days. He was tired. He was beyond tired. But also afraid to be asleep. He sighed deeply, deciding that maybe this was the time to let her in a bit. "I don't want to be asleep," he confessed and pecked her forehead. "That's when the dreams come, and I have no control over it." Amelia tightened her arm over his chest, giving a gentle kiss on his neck as if to encourage him to continue. "Last time I had problems with my PTSD, I hurt Cristina in my sleep. I woke up and she was underneath me, I was strangling her. I don't want to hurt you."

Amelia cringed a bit by the sound of her name, but was grateful that Owen finally was talking. This was what she had wanted, for him to just let her in, to know what was going on inside him. He didn't need to tell her everything. Not right away. Just open up, and let her be there. She wanted him to feel as safe with her as she did with him.

"I feel safer with you than without you," she said after a few moments. Even though there was truth to her words they both smiled, a chuckle escaping from Amelia. "But seriously, Owen. You need to sleep. And I would prefer to sleep with you but if you feel it's better, I can sleep on the couch."

Owen shook his head, not wanting her to go. He would have to overcome this. "No, you should sleep here." He wrapped both arms around her, squeezing her to him as to show her he wanted her there with him.

"Okay, good," she said and enjoyed the closeness of being in his arms. "And I promise to wake you if you have a nightmare," Amelia continued, feeling a small tension in his body as she uttered those words. He was embarrassed, she could tell. "Hey," she put her hand on his cheek, turning his face against hers. They were so close, just a few centimetres between their faces. Their eyes connected and she caressed his cheek with her thumb. "Don't be embarrassed. Not with me. I'm an addict and I'm drunk. I'm _humiliated_. But I'm still here, because that's how we survive. We can't isolate, we can't hide. That'll be our fall."

Her cerulean eyes were filled with conviction, gentleness and he could look into them forever, losing himself into the deepness and loveliness that was Amelia. His beautiful Amelia. He smiled, because even though she was a bit drunk she was still the strong and wise Amelia, and in that moment he felt such privilege to have her in his life. "Okay, I'll try to sleep," he finally said, nuzzling her face. Her lips met his in a simple peck.

They were both damaged people with problems, more apparent than ever now, but they had each other and they were going to be just okay.


	4. Chapter 4

Coming Home

The buzz of the airport surrounded Amelia as she stood waiting, a distant announcement heard through the speakers. She was fidgeting, anxiously kneading her sweaty hands. Swirling her engagement ring around and around, leaning on one foot and then the other. It was not exactly nervousness though her feelings were all over the place.

It had been three very long months, 62 days to be precise. Even though Amelia had kept herself as busy as she could between working long hours, spending time with her Los Angeles friends and playing with her nieces and nephew there had not been a second that she had not counted the days until Owen would return.

She was exhausted from lack of sleep the past few days, the knowledge that she would see him again mixed with the fear of something happening to prevail his return keeping her twisting and turning in bed at night. She pulled the deep red cardigan closer around her body, making sure her patterned scarf hung perfectly loose around her neck and down her front. She had tried on three different dresses and skirts before settling on a casual and comfortable outfit, hence the black pants, equally black top and her favourite red cardigan. A few pins were holding up selected strands of hair, her chocolate waves reaching just below her shoulders and she was thankful that he had skipped the red lipstick as her lip biting probably would have messed it all up.

Standing there in the now crowded airport, she suddenly felt unprepared for this moment. Surrounded by reuniting loved ones and people rushing to make an exit, her eyes anxiously searched for a familiar face in the arrivals area.

That was when she was him. He was still wearing his uniform, a bag in his hand. Something about him looked different, yet he was still so familiar. A wave of emotion hit her and she gasped, her forehead cringing as tears welled up in her eyes. He finally spotted her and she was met with his beautiful blue eyes, as he quickened his walk toward her. Amelia had to struggle to keep from bursting into tears, taking a deep breath to collect herself. As he neared she began to walk against him, coming into a run as the distance closed to a few metres. Owen just managed to put his bag down before capturing her in his arms, lifting her a few inches from the ground. God, he missed her. Inhaling deeply into her hair her scent filled him along with her warmth and touch.

Moving her face from the crook of his neck Amelia quickly placed her lips against his, savouring the feeling of having him close again. Their lips collided in a few pecks before she started placing small kisses all over his face, down his jaw and onto his neck. It was like she could not have him close enough, kiss him enough, love him enough. While she covered him with kisses he lowered her back to the ground in order to be able to free his hands to cup her face.

As her feet hit the ground again, he suddenly stilled.

"What? Amelia?" Owen loosened his arms around her, taking a step back and creating some space between them. "Is that-", he started to ask as his eyes flickered between her midsection and her eyes. He was stunned, confused, a rambling mess as his mind seemed close to explode and he struggled to form coherent words.

Her hands took one of his, guiding it to rest on her stomach beneath the scarf that was initially supposed to hide the small bump there. Blue eyes locked, his filled with question and confusion. Happiness soared through her and she could not have stopped the huge smile erupting on her face even if she had tried. The grin seemed to keep her from forming any words so she just nodded as she watched his face turn from confusion to utterly surprise to in awe. As the news sunk in Owen's face turned into complete happiness. First his eyes welled up and he grinned and let out a warm laugh. Then his body seemed to return to function and his hands came to life, the one resting on her belly gently stroking the roundness there as his other hand came up to cup her cheek.

"Really? This is real?" His voice was filled with emotion and she felt a single tear make its way down her cheek only to be dried up with his hand. She felt relief. Finally. Finally she had him here. Finally she could share this with him.

Her teary eyes met his equally so, losing themselves into the depths of his gaze, her hand finding his on her cheek. Her delicate fingers gently caressed his rougher ones while her other hand grasped the fabric of his uniform, tugging him closer.

"You're going to be a daddy, Owen. Really." As soon as she had uttered the words Owen crashed his lips against hers as if in desperate need to release all of the love and happiness that he was feeling.

They only pulled away for air, their foreheads resting against each other. His thumbs were stroking her temple and her cloth-covered stomach as they heavily breathed, sharing the same air. It was like they were the only two people at the crowded airport. "I've missed you so much," she whispered against him, nuzzling her nose against his while a new set of emotions erupted from inside of her. Swallowing back a sob she tightened her hold of him, feeling him do the same.

"I love you," he murmured as he placed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Both of you," he finished with a smile.

Returning the smile, Amelia softly spoke. "I didn't want to tell you over the phone, even though I came close a few times. I wanted you here."

"I'm here now," Owen reassured her. He knew when he had gone that he would miss her, that he would miss a lot. But he never imagined that this would be one of those things. The finding out of a pregnancy, of their baby. He was momentarily saddened by the thought, wishing that he had been there. "How far along," he blurted out as realization hit him; he knew none of the details and he needed to know them all.

"17 weeks. Everything's perfect. I've had some really bad nausea but otherwise I'm great." Amelia seemed to understand his unease. "You should be glad you missed all of the puking," she chuckled and even though it was supposed to be a joke it really was not all that funny. She knew that he would have been there, gladly holding back her hair as she was forced to spend hours by the toilet. She knew he took honour in taking care of her, even though she always kept telling him that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself. He would always insist though, whether it was opening car doors or making her a warm bath after a long day. Secretly, she loved being cared for in that way. It made her feel safe and loved.

"So you're feeling better then," he asked, kissing her cheek tenderly. It was like he could not stop kissing her.

She nodded. "I'm feeling better. But I'm glad you're here now. I've missed being taken cared of," she grinned as he chuckled, happy to see the sadness gone from his face.

"We're really having a baby?" Owen's voice was again filled with disbelief, and she laughed with him as she kept nodding. She had a feeling that he would keep asking her this. She did not mind though, having to reassure him that this was actually real. She had had weeks to take it in, to grasp her mind around the fact that a baby was growing inside of her and this time, the baby was perfectly healthy. She was going to give him a child, something he had wanted for such a long time. He would be the greatest dad, she knew for certain, and she could not wait to build a family with him. "We'll do an ultrasound tomorrow. You can see him or her then."

He laughed again. "You have no idea how happy you make me, Amelia. I love you so much."

"I think I have an idea," she said while tilting her head and giving him a mischievous look. "Come on, let's go home. My feet are killing me." Owen took her open hand and picked up his bag from the airport floor. Turning around she help up a finger. "Don't you dare carry me, though. You can be a gentleman and make me feel good when we get home." She gave him a wink, tugging at his hand only to hear him chuckle as he threw an arm around her guiding her out from the airport. He was so happy to be home.


	5. Chapter 5

Conversation

Owen entered the on call room an hour after his shift had ended. He was tired and did not think twice before stumbling into the one on call room where he never was disturbed since it was located in the west wing of the hospital, far from any on call doctor. It was actually quite funny, how there were on call rooms where no doctor would be near the things being on call for. It was perfect for times like these though, when you wanted to stay at the hospital for other reasons than being on call. What Owen was not expecting though as he shut the door behind him, was finding Amelia Shepherd packing down her things in an overnight bag. He knew she sometimes used this room as well, mostly together with him, but he was still quite surprised.

"Oh, Amelia, hi," Owen awkwardly said as he watched her zip the bag close. It was clear that she had spent the night.

"Hi," she casually replied and put the bag over her shoulder, moving some of her hair out of the way.

It had been a few days since they had talked, and seeing her again made Owen realize how much he had missed her. He lost himself in just watching her for a moment, wishing everything could go back to the way it was so that he could hold her and kiss her and be close to her again. Blinking, Owen forced himself back to the present and frowned as he realized that she was not supposed to be at the hospital. He knew for a fact that she had today and yesterday off. He knew that, because he had a habit of memorizing her schedule and how it coordinated with his. "Picked up an extra shift?" He had worked the night shift and he thought he would have known if she had been on call, but he asked anyway.

"Um, no," she shortly answered. "You had the night shift, right?" Perhaps she too had a habit of learning his schedule.

"Yeah, the ER was relatively quiet. People sometimes keep themselves from falling off ladders and getting into car accidents." He chuckled as he attempted to lighten the mood since there was an awkwardness between them.

Amelia nodded distantly. Something seemed to be going on with her. Perhaps it was just how things had ended last time, how he had told her off twice. He knew he had screwed up. "Hey, is everything okay?" He gave her a concerned look, eyeing her bag and the wrinkled sheets of the bed in a questioning way.

"Great. Everything's great." Her voice was flat and it was obvious that she was annoyed.

"You sure," Owen pushed hesitantly.

Amelia released a laugh and rolled her eyes. "Really? You have the nerve to ask me what's wrong?"

"Amelia, I'm sorry."

"You're a complete hypocrite, Owen!"

"I know. I mean-I… I'm an ass. I had no right to speak to you like that." He was actually quite embarrassed, because this was not the first time he treated her badly. She did deserve better.

"Speak to me… Yeah, right." She paused, swallowing down her anger. "Is it that you don't trust me? Or don't think I can handle it? Because I've been through a lot, Owen, and I've survived a lot. It that's not proof enough that I can handle things I don't know what is."

"Amelia,"

"You want me to talk to you, but when something's going on with you, you just shut me out. Completely. Damn you. I can't do this, Owen. It'll break me. So either you talk to me or I'm done. For good."

This was not exactly how he expected this to go. She cornering him. Not that he really could blame her. He could not form any words though, and she sadly nodded and again turned to leave mumbling a 'fine'.

In a desperate move to make her stay, he grabbed hold of her arm. "Amelia! Wait! Just. Wait. Don't go." He wished she would just let this go, and yet he didn't because then he would lose her.

"No really, Owen, it's fine. If this is what you want, I can't really do much about it. You've made your wishes pretty clear. I get it. I'll leave you alone." She looked sad and defeated, like she had given up. She had tried to get him to talk, pushed him, for several days. Maybe she was tired now, maybe she had given up on him.

Owen moved his hand to her wrist, gently stroking the revealed skin there. "Amelia, I-…"

Amelia waited patiently for a moment, hopefully, but when he did not say anything she sighed and turned to go. As his hand lost contact with her skin and hers was on the door handle though, he panicked.

"It's my sister," Owen blurted out, his voice a few octaves too high, and watched as she stilled by the door. He repeated his sentence again more calmly while sinking down on the bed behind him as if defeated. Amelia seemed to hesitate by the door, but after a few moments she sat down next to him.

Swallowing thickly, Owen felt his heart beat violently in his chest. He forced himself to talk though, because he could not let her go even if a part of him thought that he should. "We were in Iraq together. Me, Laura and Riggs. She was married to him."

Owen felt Amelia's fingers graze his and he realized that he was sweating, but somehow her small touch encouraged him to continue. He focused on feeling her skin against his as he spoke. "We were out in the field, helping wounded locals when another explosion hit. I couldn't see anything and for a while everything was quiet. I don't know for how long I was out, but he, Riggs, he pulled me up and dragged me away to this truck. But she, she wasn't on it. I wanted to go back, find her, but we-…" He gasped and had to stop in order to not have his voice fail him.

"She died," she quietly and carefully said. Amelia had taken his hand in hers, gently tracing her fingers over the lines and creases there.

He was not sure if it was a question but he nodded as he watched their hands, finding that it soothed him. As he opened his mouth to continue she stopped him, affectionately placing her other hand on his chin. "No, you don't need to tell me everything right now. It's okay."

Amelia had imagined a few scenarios about what could have happened to have caused this tension with Riggs and have such an effect on Owen, but she would never have imagined something like this. "I've never told anyone that," Owen softly said as their eyes locked. His eyes were sad and vulnerable, and it made something deep inside of her ache.

"What about Cristina," Amelia carefully and nervously asked, breaking eye contact but keeping her hand linked with his. Every time she heard Cristina's name something hurt, even more so lately. The past week she had become self-conscious when it came to her relationship with Owen, in comparison to what he had with Cristina.

"She was a great help to me when I was back. She helped me with my PTSD and I was fine. I thought it was over. Guess I was wrong."

They were silent for a few moments, sitting there next to each other. Owen stared blankly in front of him while Amelia's gaze concentrated on his hand in hers. "I get that. You think you put something behind you but really, it's always there."

Squeezing her hand, Owen was reminded that Amelia had indeed been through a lot. She deserved being trusted, and treated right. "Last time, I hurt Cristina. Like physically. I didn't know what I was doing, but I hurt her… I couldn't bear doing it again, with you." He whispered, meeting her deep blue eyes. "It's not that I didn't think you could handle it, because I think you're the strongest person I know. It's just, I didn't want you to have to. You shouldn't need to. This is my fucked-up mess. Also, I'm not exactly known for being great with sharing. Quite the opposite."

"Hey, I know what it's like when people keep trying to get you to talk. I shut everyone out, thought it would be easier. It wasn't. And Owen, you taught me not to manage but feel. It worked. Better than trying to manage it anyways." She paused, closing her eyes. When she opened them they were swimming with tears. "I just wanted to be there for you and help you, the way you've helped me," she softly whispered.

Placing a hand in her hair, stroking the softness of the curls he loved so much, he cringed. He had wanted to spare her from pain and this mess, but all he had succeeded to do was hurt her. "I know. I know that now. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do to fix this. Tell me how to fix this. " His thumbs smoothed the hair in either side of her face.

Amelia softly smiled as she blinked the tears away. "If we're going to do this thing," she started, stroking the biceps of his strong arms, "us, then we need to communicate. We can get through this together, if you want." A slight blush appeared on her cheeks, as a sign of her uncomfortableness and vulnerability. But she wanted this to work, he needed it to, so she continued with decisiveness. "Okay, so for example. If we're doing this thing I would tell you that I, well Meredith and I, got into a fight. She kicked me out. That's why I'm staying at the hospital."

Owen frowned but before he had the chance to say something she continue. "And," she looked down for a few seconds, but then forced herself to look him in the eyes as she spoke. "And that night I went to a bar. I had a few drinks. Riggs was there but we just talked a bit, him mostly. 1419 days. Just like that. _I_ screwed up."

Owen's gaze were filled with worry, but he stayed quiet, gently maintaining the massage of her temples with his thumbs silently urging her on.

"It's day three now. I've been to a meeting every day." Amelia lifted one hand from his arm, wiping at the corners of her eyes with delicate fingers as she sniffled. "So, I guess we've both made mistakes," she concluded in a whisper.

"Amelia, I- I'm sorry." Owen was at a loss for words, guilt and worry and _love_ brutally squeezing his heart in continuous waves inside his chest. "I'm sorry I wasn't there." He pulled her closer, holding her face against his neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered against her temple.

Amelia quickly placed her arms around his neck, taking deep breaths as she let herself be held. "It's not your fault. My sobriety is my responsibility." She did not blame him, she never could.

"I'll still hate myself for not being there."

Amelia placed a kiss against the hollow of his throat. "Don't. Hate yourself." She leaned her head upwards, trying to meet his eyes but as he just pulled her tighter against him she snuggled into him again, savouring feeling his strong and protective arms around her. "But if you want, you can be here now and support me. I won't fall of the wagon again, but I would like your support. It would mean a lot."

"Of course. I'll be here. We'll get through this, Amelia."

"We?"

He chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "We. Maybe I could go with you to a meeting. And you could go with me?"

"To a meeting?"

"There are support groups for veterans, people who've served. I don't know, at least it would be a start, right?"

"Yeah," she softly said before they fell into silence for a few minutes, just holding each other.

Owen was the one to break the quiet, his voice a bit hesitant. "So, will you forgive me?"

Amelia simply nodded and kept stroking his upper back with her hand. His muscles were tense from a week of constant stress and she just wanted to make things better, take care of him in any way she could. "I'm sorry about your sister. After Derek died, well, you know how hard it's been. I guess I just want to say that I get that something like that, losing someone you really love, can mess you up."

Owen released a deep breath, leaning his head on top of hers. Her nails kept scratching his back and it was making him feel awfully relaxed. "I'm sorry I never told you. I could have when you lost Derek, but I've fought really hard to forget what happened and I-"

"It's okay. I understand. Maybe you didn't have to tell me, maybe you just understood in a way no one else did and that was enough for me."

They sat like that for several minutes, just being close together and finding comfort in that. As Owen's body became more and more relaxed and heavy against her, Amelia shifted their bodies so that they were laying down. "Hey, you should be asleep right now," Amelia disentangled her limbs from his, forcing herself to extract her body from his. She would have likes to stay and fall back asleep with him, but she had already slept and needed to head to a meeting.

Owen's arms reached for her, his exhausted body screaming for sleep. "I don't want you to go."

"You need to sleep, you've been up all night." Leaning her face back in close she planted a gentle peck on his lips before standing, straightening her clothes. "Call me when you wake up?" Owen was sad to have her go, but nodded as he unconsciously released a yawn.

Amelia smiled, finding herself cursing their different time rhythms, wishing she could join him there on the bed. "Have you eaten anything? I'll get you some water from the vending machine."

Owen's eyes fought to stay open. "What are you doing today?"

"I'm going to a meeting and then I have a few errands. Need to go back to the house and get more clothes."

"I wanted to go with you," he mumbled as he drifted into numbness.

"You can take me tomorrow. Be right back. Now, sleep you stubborn man." Amelia grinned before exiting the room. Part of the pain she had been carrying around the past week was gone, even if there still were a lot of pain and things to deal with, and back was the butterflies and the smile on her face that represented Owen's presence in her life.

When she returned a few minutes later, Owen was fast asleep on the bed she had occupied the last couple of nights. His breathing was heavy and she found herself saying a silent prayer that he would be able to sleep alright and for his demons to leave him alone for now. She carefully reached down to kiss his cheek, lingering near his face for a second as she whispered, "Sweet dreams, Owen". She placed the water, a banana and a chocolate bar on the table and fished up her phone from her pocket. She typed him a message for him to see when he woke up.

 _I hope you slept well. Now eat some, drink some. And call me. I miss you. xoxo A_

She found herself hoping that the next time they would fall asleep, they would be together. Carefully closing the door behind her she headed for her meeting.


	6. Chapter 6

Back With You

He was back. He was back and in a way it was like he had never left. He had done this before, returned to work after a few weeks or months of absence. This time he had not been abroad though, he had not been working. He had just taken some time off, working through his issues. And now he was back.

Having spent countless hours with his therapist and it had actually proved to be successful. He had spent a lot of time with his mother, since she was the only one who could possibly understand the loss of his sister and the brutal way it had happened. It had been helpful, being around someone who knew and understood him in a way that still surprised him. Whatever he thought of her resent choices in life, she was still the same woman who had served in the navy and raised him and his sister as a single mother when his father died. His mother was in a way his hero, and he had learned that she gave him great strength.

Nathan had also been around. It had taken him a few weeks, but he had finally been able to reconcile with his brother-in-law. It was actually really great to have his brother back. Before it all happened, they had grown sort of close and even though a lot of years had passed they were still family.

He had kept his distance from his friends at SGMH. He had said and done some pretty awful things before he decided to leave, and it had taken him this time to be able to face everyone. April had given him a hug when she saw him, and he was grateful that she always had his back. She was a good friend and he had no doubt that she had kept the ER in complete order during his absence. Callie had hunted him down the minute she heard he was back, and they had shared a few drinks together, catching up. It had been just what he needed, for someone to act as if nothing had happened which was exactly what she had done as they sat in the bar for hours and she updated him on everything in her life.

Meredith and he had had a long talk. She seemed to be doing well, and glad to have him back. He had kept himself updated on her recovery from the attack, but other than that they had not interacted during the time he had been away. Meredith Grey was an amazing woman, for being able to understand and forgive him after what he had done. She had also given him a hug and told him that he was her friend no matter what.

The only one Owen had not really talked to since he came back though, was Amelia. When she saw him in the ER the day before she had simply said that it was good to see him and have him back at work. He had been a little caught off guard, but she had just patted his shoulder and given him a smile as they both resumed their work.

They had parted quite badly before he left. He had pushed her away and treated her really bad. She did not seem mad though, even if all he had left her with was a text saying that he needed time to work through his problems and that he was sorry. Every time they bumped into each other, in the attendings' lounge or by the nurse's station or in the ER, she flashed him that smile.

What he did not know though, was that during the past months Amelia had also spent time healing. She had reconciled with Meredith, she was living at the house again and for the first time in a long time the women saw each other as real family. Amelia had been to countless meetings, she had taken some vacation days and spent time with her friends in LA and found the support and love she needed in order to really embrace herself and the life she wanted. She had found that the SGMH family was indeed her family as well, and she felt like she belonged in Seattle with Meredith and the kids. She had been spiralling after he left, but climbed up and now felt stronger than she had in a long time, possibly ever. She had grown to genuinely feel good about herself.

Owen stood with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the hardness of one of the walls by the cafeteria. He had found her here, during the busy lunch hour.

Amelia looked good. She always looked good, even after hours of surgery or at four in the morning. His intention when looking for her had been to walk up to her and talk, but seeing as she had not been alone Owen had been left standing at a safe distance. She was wearing the typical dark blue scrubs, her lab coat over it. There was nothing special about her clothing, he had seen her in it a million times before. Her hair was down, the natural waves having grown a few inches longer reaching just below her shoulders.

She was sharing a table with Arizona and April, and they were chatting away happily. It tugged on Owen's lips seeing her like that, having a good time. He allowed himself to just watch her for a few minutes, the way she was talking with her hands and probably sharing one of her jokes or a funny story seeing as both Arizona and April were laughing. He sniggered to himself, being reminded of Amelia's funny side, finding himself wanting to know what they were talking about.

Having no idea how long he has been standing there, watching like a stalking idiot, Owen suddenly glanced around wondering if someone has noticed him being a creep. No one seemed to mind him though as they were in the midst of a crowded lunch hour, and to his relief Amelia seemed oblivious as she kept talking in between bites of her salad.

He could not possibly have heard the sound of two pagers going off, though he saw both Arizona and April reach into their pockets. As they started to gather their things, Amelia remained in her seat giving the two women a wave goodbye. Arizona gave the brunette a squeeze of her shoulder, saying something Owen could not hear but was intrigued about since it made Amelia give a beaming smile. The two surgeons rushed to the exit, fortunately on the opposite side of the room from where Owen stood, and left Amelia alone by the table. She resumed her reading of what probably was some medical journal spread out in front of her, munching on the rest of her lunch.

Momentarily hesitating Owen put his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. Seeing as Amelia would probably finish her lunch and leave in a few minutes though, he decided to walk up to her. He cleared his throat while nearing her table, giving her a chance to notice his presence. Wide cerulean eyes looked up from the journal, meeting his ice blue ones. She gave him a smile and motioned with her hand to one of the empty chairs.

He sat down in the seat previously occupied by April, placing his hands on his thighs and wondering why he was nervous. Well, it was not all that surprising seeing as they had not really talked for months and he had probably built up this fear of what it would be like. Amelia seemed relaxed around him though as she popped a piece of tomato into her mouth, moving an opened bag of carrots closer to him on the table. "Have some," she said before starting to chew.

Taking a carrot, Owen felt his shoulders relax. "What'cha reading?" he simply offered, finding himself genuinely interested.

She took a sip of her water and turned the journal over, showing him the article she had been reading. "Have you seen this?" The pictures of the spread were neuro scans and he quickly spotted the name highlighted. It was Amelia's publish from a surgery. A broad smile covered his face as he looked up from the spread.

"This is amazing, Amelia." Owen skimmed through the text and continued to smile. "You're amazing."

"I know," Amelia happily said causing him to chuckle. The blue in her eyes seem to grow even bluer as her eyes sparkled, and he could tell that she was quite proud. Well, she should be. He was proud, because she was one hell of a neurosurgeon deserving all the praise. Owen had met his fair share of brilliant doctors and surgeons, but never one quite as enthusiastic about brain tumours as Amelia Shepherd.

The beaming smile on his face stayed as he met her eyes, silently communicating his admiration. A smile formed on her face and he could see a hint of a blush on her cheeks. As if on cue, Amelia's pager went off breaking their eye lock. "Duty calls," she said while holding up her phone.

Owen nodded as she started to clean up, quite amused by the sudden flush of her face. "Hey, can I hold on to this for a while? I'd like to read the whole article."

"Yeah, of course. Enjoy," she said with a hint of a laugh, seeming to appreciate his interest though. Grinning back up at her Owen savoured the warm and fuzzy feeling inside his chest. It felt great to be able to talk to and be around her again.

"Hey, Amelia," Owen quickly said before she left and before he lost the courage. She stood in front of him, her hand tucking some strands of chestnut hair behind her ear. Her hair was almost too thick to stay there though and she had to do it twice. "What are you doing later?" Maybe he was supposed to be content with this small interaction, but he could not help but push for more.

"Oh, I'm picking up the kids and I promised them we'd go out and eat and have ice cream." Blue eyes lit up as she spoke about the kids, a few crinkles erupting in the corners of her eyes.

Owen cleared his throat in an attempt to keep his cool exterior. He was disappointed of course, hoping that she would have perhaps been free so he could ask if- he didn't really know. Ask her out to dinner? No, this was probably better. He would have to be grateful for this moment. "Oh, okay. Sounds like fun."

Amelia lingered in her position in front of him, placing her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. "You should come. If you want." Her suggestion had him a bit off guard, but he forced himself to keep his cool while inside he was soaring. This was more than he deserved and certainly more than what he had expected.

"Yeah?" Kind eyes met her soft ones, both having a hint of hope in them.

"I could probably use some help. Three kids is a lot," she chuckled, pursing her lips in a way that made him focus on them for a bit too long. "The kids would love it as well." _As well._ Did that mean that she would love it? Heck, who cared? _He_ would love it. "Owen?" He realized he had zoned off and quickly forced himself to return to the present.

"I'd love to."

"Great," she grinned and then hurried away. His eyes stayed on her until she disappeared through out of sight. That woman was incredible.

A few hours later they had enjoyed a quick – in order to make it to the ice cream place faster – meal and were all sitting happily enjoying their dessert. Amelia sat at one side of the table with Zola next to her on the seat. Ellis was in her stroller next to Amelia who was taking turns entertaining the baby with a fabric book and eating her ice cream.

Owen was in the opposite seat by the table, having his hands full making sure Bailey kept eating over the table and not dropping the dripping ice cream in his lap. The boy had insisted on having a big boy ice cream, in a cone.

"Owen," Zola said while carefully eating her strawberry and vanilla ice cream. Her dark eyes quickly met the adult's before returning to inspect the ice cream, her hands swirling it around and around to make sure that she would be able to spot the slightest sign of melting. The girl licked around the sweetness in her hands and when having made sure that the ice cream was safe from melting for a few seconds she looked up again, finding she had Owen's attention. "I like having you back. This is nice."

Owen chuckled, nervously glancing over at Amelia who had an amused smile plastered on her face. She took a scoop of vanilla ice cream into her mouth, staying silent and seeming intrigued to watch the interaction between her niece and himself. Leave it to the six-year-old to be refreshingly honest and always speak her mind. It was a quality Amelia sometimes found a bit annoying even though she loved the girl to death. Right now though, Amelia simply smiled proudly at the girl. "Thank you, Zola. I am happy to be back, and spend time with you guys," Owen replied.

Bailey made a happy sound from next to Owen, smiling broadly and placing one of his sticky hands on top of Owen's arm. Owen quickly lifted it away and tried to clean the chubby hand from melted ice cream. Even though his light blue shirt was probably already ruined Owen could impossible get annoyed, because having the sandy blonde boy so content to sit next to him and eat his ice cream – the same Owen was having, chocolate – only made him smile. He was genuinely happy to be back, and specifically right here.

Zola continued, after making a face at her brother for not being able to eat ice cream as good as herself. "Where were you? At the beach?"

Figuring that the kids probably had been told he had been on vacation, Owen gently grinned before answering. "Not the beach. My skin wouldn't be able to take the constant sun." That made Amelia laugh and Zola giggled, Bailey also smiling because he did not want to be left out even though he did not understand the joke.

They continued to chat for a while as the kids finished their ice cream. Amelia kept having a content smile on her face while her eyes glistened with something Owen could only describe as amusement or mischief. He found himself desperately curious as to what she was thinking.

When the kids were finished, Bailey leaving almost half of his ice cream in a melted mess on the table, Owen cleaned the boy's hands and face with the wet wipe Amelia handed him. Bailey was babbling about the siblings' latest cartoon obsession, Toy Story, letting Owen do his best in wiping away the stickiness from his skin and clothes. Owen nodded every other second, uttering a 'really' or a 'that's cool' in order to urge to boy on. He found himself unable to really focus though, as his attention was on Amelia.

He tried not to be too apparent, but kept glancing over to her figure as she gave Zola a napkin. She lifted Ellis from the stroller, placing her on her lap, and bounced the girl a few times trying and succeeding to make the baby happy. Ellis had become more tired and cranky the past half hour, but they had wanted to stay until everybody had finished their ice cream. Amelia stood up with Ellis, and while balancing the baby on her hip and reaching for Zola's jacket her shirt and leather jacket rode up a bit revealing the milky skin of her side.

Owen cleared his throat and had to concentrate to keep functioning in his task to get Bailey cleaned. He had been watching Amelia in close scrutiny for the most part of the day and it was making him going stir crazy. She was so gorgeous and all he wanted to do was worship every part of her. It was the small things, like the way her hair fell down her shoulders and looked so soft and made him want to bury his hands and nose in it or the way her lips moved upward in a million different ways, looking pink and soft and warm making him want to tug at them with his lips. Seeing her skin though, the velvety and pale skin he used to be able to kiss and touch, did things to his body and mind that was not appropriate for being around little children.

The tugging of his shirt made Owen realize he had been frozen staring yet again, and he returned to the task of putting Bailey's jacket on letting out a deep and wavering breath. The duo stood up from their shared seat, Bailey placing his small and chubby hand in Owen's.

"Everybody ready?" Amelia's chirpy voice said while she bounced Ellis on her hip, causing the little girl to giggle as she absentmindedly played with her aunt's hair. Amelia grimaced as the girl tugged a little too hard, but let her keep her small hands in her hair after loosening her grip. "Owen, can you take the stroller?" She did not wait for an answer, but started walking out from the restaurant with Ellis on her hip and a babbling Zola attached to her free hand.

Owen walked with Bailey, steering the stroller after the girls. His eyes moved to Amelia's backside, the way the perfect roundness of her ass moved as she walked. Those jeans were tight, much like Owen's own pants were staring to become. No, this was completely inappropriate. He was not some sex-obsessed creep unable to control himself. Sometimes his control seemed to waver around this particular woman, but this was out of line. He again cleared his throat, and started to talk to Bailey in order to distract himself.

"Took you long enough," Amelia said as Owen finally reached the car with Bailey in tow. She had already placed Ellis in her car seat and Zola had climbed in beside her sister. Bailey let go of Owen's hand and hearing the music from Zola's iPad inside the car, the boy found his place in the backseat.

Amelia had her hands on her hips and looked expectantly at Owen, like he somehow was in trouble. Her eyes scanned his body making Owen realize that maybe he had not been as discrete with his ogling of her the entire night as he had thought. He could feel his face become a crimson colour as his eyes widened, and he quickly mumbled some form of an apology before busying himself with putting the stroller in the back of the car.

He could hear Amelia chuckle behind him and felt her eyes watch him for a few seconds before he heard her open the car door and enter the driver's seat.

As Owen hopped into the front seat, the car was filled with music from the iPad in the backseat. It was a chirpy and monotone song, but Owen welcomed the sound as it broke the silence. Amelia put the car in motion and Owen kept his eyes on the road, cursing himself for being so awkward. He really had no idea where Amelia stood, what she was thinking about him and them or what she was feeling. And her constant smiling today and tonight was confusing. He had expected her to be upset with him, maybe even ignore him as he came back. She was confusing and unpredictable and she drove him crazy. In a good way.

After what felt like only minutes, Amelia had parked the car in the driveway of Meredith's house. She did not exit the car though, and as Owen turned his head to look at her he felt her hand on his forearm. Her gaze was fixed upon his, cerulean and gentle eyes meeting his. Gone was the amusement and mischief. "Stay for a while?"

Her voice was low and soft, and he felt her hand give his arm a light squeeze. Placing his right hand on top of hers, stroking the softness of her skin there, he replied, "I'll stay."

"What are we doing?" Zola's voice was heard from the backseat, making the two adults break from their moment. They shared an amused look before simultaneously opening the car doors, preparing to unload the kids.

They all made their way inside and were met by Meredith walking out from the kitchen area. Zola and Bailey rushed over to their mother, meeting her halfway, and started to tell her all about their afternoon. Meredith laughed before making her way over to Amelia and Owen. The kids disappeared to tend to their toys for a while before anyone could remind them that it was bedtime.

"Well, they seem to have had a great time." She took Ellis from Amelia's arms, and the baby immediately rested her tired face on her mother's shoulder.

"It's probably the sugar," Amelia joked as she took the kids' stuff from Owen and hung their abandoned jackets up on the hangers. Meredith rocked the baby in her arms, hugging the girl close. She had missed her babies today, even though it had been great to get some alone time after work. "Will you handle them for a while? Owen and I wanted to take a walk."

Amelia's voice made Meredith turn her face from Ellis, looking up at the twosome with a knowing glint in her eyes. She and Amelia had grown closer the past couple of weeks, closer than they had ever been and surprisingly to the both of them, they had come to actually understand and lean on each other. Meredith knew that even though Amelia was alright and had not said it out load, she had missed Owen like crazy. She knew that because the brunette would get hope in her eyes every time the doorbell rang, or her phone lit up or there was a page to the ER. A hope in her eyes that would turn into disappointment every time the ginger still turned out to be absent, a disappointment that she hid well and probably had no idea Meredith – and maybe even herself - was aware of. "Of course. Thank you for today. I'll see you later." Meredith gave Amelia a wink and walked toward the kitchen with the sleepy baby.

Owen felt Amelia's familiar hand take his as they walked outside in silence. They had been laughing and relaxed around each other all afternoon, but the mood seemed to now change to more serious. Amelia led the way down the front steps, tugging at his hand. It was a clear night with a soft breeze, making Owen absentmindedly move his thumb against the back of Amelia's hand for warmth. It was not cold, just extra nice to be holding someone's hand.

"I thought we were going for a walk," Owen said as they made their way around the house to the backyard, a place he had seldom visited throughout the years.

"I changed my mind," Amelia simply answered, pulling him down next to her on a wooden sofa. "I like to come here and sit. It's quiet, and nice, don't you think?"

"It is," Owen agreed as he took in the surroundings. It was nothing like the nature surrounding the Dream House and the trailer but she was right, it was nice. Maybe he would offer to build the kids a swing set or something, so Amelia and he could sit here and watch them play. He smiled at the thought, but only for a few seconds. They were still undefined, more so than ever since he had left.

Owen shifted on the sofa, turning against her. Watching her face while she seemed to be in deep thought, he was again mesmerized by her beauty. He could watch her face forever. Resting his elbow against the back of the sofa he let his fingers hesitantly come up to her hair. When Amelia did not flinch or pull away, but simply turned her face leaning into his touch, his fingers became bolder and he buried them in her silky waves, varying from massaging her scalp and stroking her hair. Their eyes locked, losing themselves in waves of blue as they both were soothed by the touch of Owen's fingers. "I have really missed you," Owen gently said after what could have been minutes or hours. Time seemed to have lost its grasp of them; there was only the two of them and this moment.

"I've missed you, too." Amelia's reply was almost instant, and their lips simultaneously curved upwards. Her voice was soft but lacked fear and hesitance. It was as if they had been through this back and forth so many times that one thing they had learnt was to be honest and unashamed of such words. Because they both knew they were true. If they had only been a fling once, this was way beyond that and they both knew it. Their feelings had not gone away, even after all they had been through, only grown stronger. And it was as if their souls knew that, and had fallen into an understanding and connection with the other one.

Amelia hooked one leg over his and leaned her head on his shoulder, letting his arm find itself around her back. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and just savoured being close to him again. She felt him kiss the top of her head before he pulled her closer, and a wave of calm and contentment rushed through her body. The familiarity of the embrace made them both settle further into each other, Amelia's both legs resting on top of Owen's while he leaned back in the seat letting her whole body rest against him.

"You seem to be feeling better," Amelia said after a few minutes of silence, as an offering to start the conversation they both knew they needed to have. Her hands found their way under his jacket on either side of his body, for both warmth and closeness, while she nuzzled her face into his shoulder.

Owen placed yet another kiss to her hairline, lingering with his lips there as he spoke, tickling her skin slightly. "Yeah. I am. It's been hell but I'm really better now."

Amelia's hand moved underneath his jacket, softly caressing his chest right under his heart. "I'm glad," she said almost in a whisper.

Owen inhaled deeply, his hand brushing over her thigh resting on top of his. "I've seen this therapist. He specializes in PTSD."

"So no beach then?" Amelia said lightening the mood, receiving a chuckle from him and a squeeze of his arm around her.

"No beach. But I did spend some time with my mom."

Amelia smiled against his shoulder and inhaled his wonderful scent into her lungs. She could not describe what his smell was like, but it always drew her in, making her want to be impossibly closer and never leave. "Good. Your mom is nice."

"I have so much I want to tell you," he admitted, releasing a sigh and she could feel the frustration in his voice.

"We have time," she said in an attempt to reassure him, as her hand kept drawing patterns on his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Amelia confirmed. It was a knowing between them, that they were going to be okay.

Owen wanted to prove himself though, explain his actions. She deserved to know everything. "Amelia, I'm sorry that I just left. Of how I treated you, and everyone. I was a mess, and I just-"

Amelia leaned her head a bit upward, making his gaze meet hers. She moved her hand to rest on his cheek, making him stop talking. "Shh. It's okay. I mean, we'll have to talk about it at some point but-, I'm actually glad that you left." His puzzled look made her try to explain better. "I mean, not that you left, left because I missed you, very much. But I was also in a bad place, and this time you've been away... You're not the only one who's done work on yourself. I was never really okay after Derek died. Meredith and I, we were not okay. But we are now. She's been going through a lot, and I have too, but we've grown closer and helped each other. And I've been to LA, seen the people who were always there for me and care about me. And I, I am finally okay. Like, really okay Owen." She smiled up at him, her fingers lightly caressing his face. And he smiled back, admiration and awe filling his insides. Amelia never failed to captivate him, with her strength and her being.

"Nothing makes me happier than hearing you say that. _Nothing_." He looked her deep in the eye, and she could see that his words were genuine.

"Are you okay?" She traced the lines of his face with her hand, affection and love touching his skin through her fingers and her voice.

"I am. I'm still the same damaged man, but I've worked through this one thing. I never thought I could feel like this, so light you know? Like I've had this big weight on my shoulders for so long I didn't even know it, and now it's coming off."

"I think I know what you mean. We'll always have our baggage, our past. It's part of what makes me, me and you, you." She watched him, watched the lines of his face and the curve of his lips. She knew his face so well, and she wanted to always know it. "And I love every part of you, Owen." She was serious, keeping her hold of his cheek and watching his eyes. "I love you." She sat up a bit straighter and held his face in both hands, her thumbs moving in gentle strokes against his cheeks. "I love you," she whispered and looked down at his lips for a second, before meeting his eyes again. She leaned closer and closed her eyes, pressing her lips against his. It was just a soft peck, followed by another peck and then another. Before Owen pulled away, his eyes dark and filled with emotion making her want to drown in the blue.

"I love you, too, Amelia." His words were a whisper against her warm and swollen lips as he leaned in closer, their foreheads resting against each other. As her lips began to form a smile he kissed her again, tugging at her bottom lip and seeking entrance to her mouth.

They would eventually talk about everything. About everything that had happened the last couple of months, about death and fear and unicorn babies, about sobriety and loss and anger. And they would talk about a future, their future. About houses and marriage and children and everything that they wanted, together.

For now though, making out in Meredith's backyard was more than enough. It was just the two of them, and nothing else mattered.


End file.
